part e: you, the critic

Midnight Musings – Flash Poetry

The title is actually really important to the theme of the flash poems in this segment. I’ve decided that all of the titles of my flash poetry will have something to do with light, with my first segment being called Shadows. Midnight Musings comes from a time of reflection, change, and just musing at night. It encompasses all of my late night thoughts, wishes, and desires. There is no real story arc because each piece is a simple thought or idea – short and sweet and unfiltered.

I’ve always tried to write flash poetry for myself, just as a way to get all my thoughts out on paper because writing is so cathartic for me. The style I used was simplistic, but as the poetry progressed, I started to integrate more punctuation. I’ve also started adding titles at the end of many of the flash poems, which I first saw in Rupi Kaur’s Milk and Honey. For example,

63.

my condolences to every man

who stole my petals

instead of watering my roots

watch me rise

I love this series, and I love that they all consist of the things I can’t speak out loud but the words need to get out somehow, so I write them. If anyone wanted to really understand me, I would tell them to read my flash poetry.


The Vanishing Girl – Fiction

The title of this piece is significant to both myself personally and the piece as a whole. I feel like after you fall deeply in love with someone and they leave you, part of you vanishes because they take an aspect of you with them. If this happens enough, and you don’t have a clear sense of identity that isn’t rooted in one’s ability to be desired, you will vanish.

The Vanishing Girl is the story of a woman who falls in love with each of the elements – Fire, Water, Earth, and Air.

As she falls in love, she starts to transition into each of these elements, but the relationships are short lived and leave her hollow. However, she takes aspects from each of these elements with her until she is a collection of all the men she has ever loved, and all the elements. My intended audience is anyone who’s ever been in love, or wanted to be in love. It’s more a story of identity and self discovery, and a cautionary tale of being reliant on affection and romantic validation.

I’ve been tying a lot of my poetry into this piece, which is why it has so much metaphor and symbolism. An example is the first few lines of the piece – “It was the year of love and the year of fear and I woke up to a thunderstorm. His voice thunder, the lightning our hands (still intertwined) and the rain my heartbeat.” I do have to be cautious of this, however, and I’m working on making my writing more concise while still integrating my poetry in the short story.


About Me- Personal Reflection

I chose this piece not so much for the writing, but because when I was reading it the other day, I realized how much I’ve changed, and how much I’ve grown. The piece was inspired by Edgar Allan Poe’s “A Dream Within a Dream”, and it was one of the first successful emulations I’ve ever done.

I think at the beginning of the year, my perspectives on love, lust, and infatuation were twisted. I had never really had an exposure to love in the pure sense of admiring someone deeply, beyond the surface level beauty we put so much value in. Because of this, I had convinced myself that love was a concept I’d never be able to understand, nor did I deserve to understand. This is exemplified through the following lines.

“I am a red rose, enchanting at first, my petals seducing trembling fingertips… But I am bound to wilt, and when I do, you’ll wish you had never touched me.”

“My body is a hotel room, a weekend getaway where lovers go to forget reality and enter a world of make believe – until they long for the comfort of their home.”

This has changed drastically – perhaps because I’ve discovered what my self-worth really is, or because I’ve been broken but been able to fix myself on my own, without help from anyone else. I think this growth has made me a stronger, more resilient woman, and I am so excited to see what the future has in store for me.

So, I am proud of this piece not because it is my strongest writing piece, but because it shows who I was. I am not the girl who wrote this piece anymore. I’d like to finish with the first flash poem from midnight musings – a series started this semester. I think it illustrates perfectly how I feel in regards to my journey thus far.

1.

i spent so long grieving over

my innocence being taken from me

i wasn’t able to see the strength

lacing across the skin that used to be covered in scars

wrapping around my fragile wrists and

sheltering a heart that has somehow learned

to rebuild itself

i understand now

how much i have grown.